CHOPE!!!!

So if u dnt knw what chope means sorry.   hehehe basically its a term we used to use in high school when someone mispronounced a word or name.  this would be accompanied by the chop my money hand gesture lol but yah thts a chope.

i thnk my fondest memories of the word is when someone who will remain unnamed for the sake of their pride lol, wel this person went to a private school from a government school and they were talking about ewing hehehehe shem man   corect pronunciation i have now learnt is YOO-ing alas this poor soul pronounced it EEW-ing :-)  kufanekuseka  lols.  i recall him telling me how people lafd at him so hard, which really dnt help with infiltrating the cool kids.  honestly highschool kids can be soooooooo mean but at the same tym i thnk it instilled the importance of thinking before you speak in many of us coz of the fear of being ridiculed in front of your peers.

yes english isnt our mother tongue but when u decide to speak it say it ryt cz if you dnt ther r some silly people out there like me who will pack out so loud and end up missing everything else that ur saying.  worse still when u are a public figure, least i ask of u is practice ur prepared speech before saying it in a public forum coz honestly 7 retakes of the same word is jus poor by ANY standards.  if i was her i wud hv jus kept going and left it at eish reilatrate,  but now we have catch phrases from you we will say and laf about till the next great speech FAIL.  atleast u making us laugh in these bleek times.

but on a serious note, the cause was good the cancer foundation will go a long way to hopefully help people suffering from cancer in our country.  all i hope is that the administrators of this foundation will not end up benefiting from the foundation more than its intended benefactors.

and yes i have given u licence to laf when i chope  if anythn we will all get a good laf out of it and thers nthn wrong with tht.

lata yal
 

Kuchatiswa mucombi

So i dnt know who else gets super annoyed when the hwindi doesnt have change and they have been driving past the peeps who sell ma freezit paside peroad the whole way to town and then only then do they say vabereki handina change.  but guy why wernt u looking for change all the way like seriously.  but the funny thng is between the 6 of u waiting for 50cents change someone has a coin but generally is jus too shy to now bring it out after being so dramatic about wanting change hehehehe.  I wont lie i am also guilty of this crime.  this usually leads me to find myself paying for someones way to end the whole issue.  if you thot it takes alot to make zimbos mad trust me it dnt.  try not to give them R4-00 back and see what they do.  i swear we go punk on a dude and start telling them tht they r thiefs and that vatijairira hahahahahaha.  oh snap shame on us though.  why we act like we dnt kw that the combi is R4 and change is hard to come by i dnt kw. so to all those vakachatiswa mucombi ie yal wer given a dollar between 2 people to go and look for change by urselves lets give the hwindis a break every now and again,  for every rude one theres also a fairly polite one so pay it forward i say.

Presidential motorcade

If anyone knows anythn about staying alive in zim one thng u need to know is when the presidential motorcade is coming DONT MOVE.  like for real.  so u can imagine our shock when the combi driver decided he was gonna try change lanes after the first motor bike guy had come to stop traffic,  i have never heard a group of people talk with one voice like we did in tht combi....cursing this dude kuti shamaz u wanna get us all shot coz ur impatient isnt, manje dont you dare.   lol i swear i dnt kw what was going through his mind but what i do know is that i lafd all the way home.

now when i look back at all the times i used to wear earphones in the combi i feel a lil sad for all the laughs i missed out on.

Sunday 28 October

Charity's mom was throwing her a kitchen tea in chinhoyi so me and pru were catching a combi to chinhoyi which is like 2 hrs away give or take a police road block or toll gate.

 

so go figure im late to meet Purdie town.  So the first the combi i take from home to town, thers this dude drivin like he's mal. first they dnt come pick me from my road then this dude starts driving in reverse with on coming traffic coming his way and all im thinking is why had u turned around when u could see me waving u down like a mad woman.  but luckily he then swapd with this other dude and lone behold do i not jus see that this dude had been drivin crazy coz he was stoned drunk and still drinkin. so i figure ah well we r safe nw, lil did i know we wer only safe from traffic on the road but not from this nutters verbal diarrhea (i had to google tht spelling lol u dnt wanna kw hw id spelt it before kikikiki)  

So this nigga starts arassin anyone and everyone he can, first he asks this chic sitting next to him for water and when she gvs him he goes "do u go to church if u do lessings are coming ur way" so at this stage im thinkin ah thts cool. but no no no he wasnt done as she was leavin the combi he then goes "sister if ur ude dnt marry u come to me and ndinokunyenga" so nw erbody in the combi is packin. then he went on to his next target.  this lil chic was listenin to her music and he starts saying hey hey hey you short hair yakakufita (translation short hair suits you)  dnt change it, hey yah it looks so nice."  so this chic didnt even twitch coz she had earphones on, then he kept tryna get her attention but only succeeded when half the people got off by the fly over.  mind u combi drivers and hwindis are egtting a bad rep for impregnating school girls so in my head i was jus thinking Lord I hope this girl dnt fall these drunken sweet nothings coz if she does its late for her.

the diary of a combi passenger part 2

combis really ruin everythn instead of enjoying the smell of rain all i can thnk is the pongs tht will be killing me eeeeew. city council really needs to step up their game. #combi.diaries

Combi Diaries part i dnt kw

So i have already posted a few on fb but il try catch them all here

So we got to market square to look for a combi to go to chinhoyi and the only two seats left next to each other wer by ths dude who was busy getting soaked on the what I believe is the skippers version of brandy, compared to this, bootleg is a premium brand.   As we r driving away this dude starts pouring his concoction into his beer mug and does he not jus spill booze on the chic to his ryt, she was so not impressed but this guy jus mumbles some apology.  So he sees the 2 guys in the front seat falling asleep on each other then he goes "ah are those 2 guys sleeping on each other, they mus really be enjoying their sleep" (im translating for my none shone readers bt it was smthn like “ah maface 2 here akararirana yah hope dzirikunaka” so the whole combi starts packing out and these dude wake up not knowing they are the butt of a joke.  Now this guy kept trying to get his fone out of his pocket meanwhile anga achidya pru mahalf (literal translation getting free feels of pru) now he got mad cz pru wudnt speak with him then he goes "people want to get mad at u for drinkin when you bought ur own booze",  ah dude yeah cz ur spillin ur cheap booze on us, apa we going to a kitchen tea party and we r late last thng u need is peeps smellin u and scheming ur late cz u stopped for a drink at the shabeen for a couple of drinks and i say shabeen cz thers no pub tht wud sell wat he was drinkin kikikiki.  Apa now the guy behind me kept leaning forward onto my seat and im thinkin eh mukwasha can I sit properly without feeling like you are tryn to feel up on me.  When some peeps got out by the mutorashanga turn off me and pru decided to save ourselves and move to the back.  If only I had known that this was a non starter.  If ur tall or a fattie u know zim combis are a tight squeeze apa the folding seats jus aren’t secure.  So now the chic in front of me is sitting like she on a recliner and I kp pushin her forward to say aikazve hello my knees cnt take ur weight but sviiii she even took me seriously nd continued on her way.   

Obviously what you can get from this is

1. I have personal space issue.

2. Never sitting next to someone drinking in a combi no matter how late you are. 

3. You can always get a good laugh from a combi trip u jus have to pay attention and it will happen to you

Introduction

Well first and foremost thank you for thinking of me and coming to read my lil blog.  lets get some things straight right now, im not an english major so my spelling and grammar generally sux.  i generally dnt use long fancy words coz they probably get lost in translation.  this blog is merely to bring a giggle to the few who will check it out every now and again but generally its a diary of the things that have made me gigle over time coz we all know there are those times ur jus so sad and u need somethn to warm ur heart and almost make u pee urself with laughter (that is the right spelling right)  but ya fasten ur seatbelts and enjoy this walk down the life of an ordinary almost 30 girl.  cheers.